Today I Forgot How to Spell Hate

Today I was stuck
My lips wobbled, tongue tied in a bun
I lost it
I lost the word
The sight of it, blurred; took form in
slurred speak; I forgot
how to spell, say, voice
the simple word:

Hate.

A wraith, it blended
like a whiff of smoke, except
this whiff
this screen of smoke
this translucent white shadow
passed out of existence,
I could see it none
I could hear it none
I could feel it none; but

Like all things better dead, it would return.

Because in a moment, then
I was reminded, taught again
To say I hate and love, and
all in between
I was reminded of it
of grinding teeth to angered grit
of boiling in a furious fit
of inside, containing a pit,
with the heat of a hundred suns
of becoming a dimwit
of shedding shards of serenity.
I was reminded by

a world that permits only such.

But it was never it
It wasn’t H, A, T, E,
that I forgot
It wasn’t the word
that escaped me
I simply forgot
for a moment
what it’s like

to sing the long-sung black song.

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